His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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