everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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