oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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