lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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