he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Randomize
