I'm really into asian looking animals
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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