Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
