Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
