im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
