found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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