I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
