Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
