She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
