you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize