the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
