Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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