There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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