I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
