I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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