I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
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Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
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I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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