He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize