There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
