Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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