Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's shark week go big or go home
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
