This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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