It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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