tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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