you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so let's talk penis.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
