I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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