i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
