drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
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Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
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There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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