no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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