If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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