I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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