if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i think im in europe. pls send help
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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