youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize