walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
