have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
