I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my being single is dangerous.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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