her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
