I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
