turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
