the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
