i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize