He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
