My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
