Quick, to the slutcave!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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