So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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