chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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