yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
