weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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