I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize