some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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