i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Welp...herpes.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
