shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I want to be your penis for a week.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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