yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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