Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
