Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
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you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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