I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
